an ode to female friendship
During my single years, I spent most of my time wanting to be in the company of interesting men. That was my goal. Spend time with men and land me a boyfriend. I hate to admit it, but I think I looked at women quite often as the competition. They were what was standing between me and a man. Not that I didn't have some female friends that I really valued, but I had a hard time avoiding that sense of competitiveness. I thought that the ultimate relationship that would give me everything I needed was to be found in a man.
And I'll definately hand it to men. Having a man in my life has been a phenomenal, enriching, life-defining experience. I love my husband's "otherness," his manliness. I love the attraction between us. I love the way we balance out and fill each other in. I love our conversations, our time together and all that we share.
But ever since I have been in a stable, committed relationship, I have begun to realize that a man is no substitute for girlfriends! There's just something about the relatability between women friends that is necessary in each woman's life. A woman friend understands that she doesn't have to fix your problem...in fact, she may fix it just by listening. She understands that women process by talking...verbally trying ideas on for size, so she doesn't assume what you say is the final word on the subject. She instantly "gets" the stressfulness of mood swings and monthly cycles and the like. She is someone to giggle with, eat chocolate with, and definately go shopping with. She likes to talk about relationships, and to dissect them down to the nth degree (do you know ANY guys that do that???...but why don't they? it's so interesting!). She is your fellow comrade in rolling your eyes at your men (lovingly, of course!). Women aren't perfect friends, of course. But they're indispensible. They're needed. They refresh the spirit. And if I had my single days to do over again, I would try to remember that a man can never do the total job of filling my cup. It takes lots of varied relationships to do that...and one of the most key relationships is me and my girlfriends.
And I'll definately hand it to men. Having a man in my life has been a phenomenal, enriching, life-defining experience. I love my husband's "otherness," his manliness. I love the attraction between us. I love the way we balance out and fill each other in. I love our conversations, our time together and all that we share.
But ever since I have been in a stable, committed relationship, I have begun to realize that a man is no substitute for girlfriends! There's just something about the relatability between women friends that is necessary in each woman's life. A woman friend understands that she doesn't have to fix your problem...in fact, she may fix it just by listening. She understands that women process by talking...verbally trying ideas on for size, so she doesn't assume what you say is the final word on the subject. She instantly "gets" the stressfulness of mood swings and monthly cycles and the like. She is someone to giggle with, eat chocolate with, and definately go shopping with. She likes to talk about relationships, and to dissect them down to the nth degree (do you know ANY guys that do that???...but why don't they? it's so interesting!). She is your fellow comrade in rolling your eyes at your men (lovingly, of course!). Women aren't perfect friends, of course. But they're indispensible. They're needed. They refresh the spirit. And if I had my single days to do over again, I would try to remember that a man can never do the total job of filling my cup. It takes lots of varied relationships to do that...and one of the most key relationships is me and my girlfriends.
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