musings of a saint and sinner

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

just a student again?

The past 15 months have really changed my life. I am struggling with how to articulate this to friends. I am coming back the same person...and yet not the same person. Then again, maybe I am underestimating the fact that they have experienced the same sort of thing (especially those of them that have been away on internships too).

In the past 15 months...
...I have worked as a chaplain on a mental health floor
...I have had to deal with the fall-out from a vicious, violent crime in the community I served
...I have been present when a woman died in her hospital bed
...I have conducted over a half-dozen funerals
...I have preached countless sermons and taught countless classes
...I have faced the growing seriousness of my father's illnesss, wondering at times if he would die soon
...I have started a new ministry of spritual gifts discovery at a congregation
...I have started a young adult Bible study...and seen people really grow through it
...I have gotten married to a man I can't believe I didn't realize sooner was so perfect for me
..I have been known to some people ONLY as married (i.e., they haven't known me at all as a single person)
...I have become firmly convinced that I'm called to be a pastor
...I have had a standing ovation at my internship reception

So...that now makes me a married woman in ministry...pretty crazy...Prrety different from when I was here last, struggling to find my wings...Wondering if I could truly be either of those things. Will people expect me to be the same? Will I fall into the rut of doubting myself because they expect it? I hope not.

The thing that sustains me though is my peers...these people who have gone through the wringer too...the many hoops to jump through...the battle. Some of them are a bit battle weary. Some are doing great. But all in all, we can encourage each other.


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